Reviewed by Johnny McNair

Lionsgate Home Entertainment– 201 minutes – 2009 – Rated R – 1080p 1.85:1 – DTS HD 7.1 Lossless Audio – Digital Copy – 3D

The original My Bloody Valentine that came out in 1981 was not exactly on anyone’s best horror films list, so it was odd when someone decided to go and do a remake. Friday the 13th, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, sure everyone knows about those slasher flicks, but can anyone even remember what My Bloody Valentine was about? Well stuff like that never stops the Hollywood engine, so fast forward twenty eight years later and a ‘reboot’ hit theaters, but this time with a new gimmick…it’s in 3D. My Bloody Valentine jumps out of your Blu-ray from Lionsgate Home Entertainment, ready to suck you into the third dimension.

MOVIE

The plot for My Bloody Valentine is your basic cut and paste job centering around a guy named Tom (Jensen Ackles), who returns home to the small mining town of Harmony where an infamous murder that occurred on Valentine’s Day over a decade earlier has still left a dark cloud. Tom discovers that his former sweetheart, Sarah (Jaime King) is now shacked up with his old friend Axel (Kerr Smith), whom also happens to be the town’s Sheriff. To make a long story short, the murderous miner with a bloody pickaxe is also back in town and chopping down victims one-by-one. For obvious reasons everyone blames Tom, but clues begin to unfold leading to other suspects. But before anyone knows the real truth, there will be plenty of blood spilled and screams galore.

Directed by Patrick Lussier, who has directed such direct-to-video flicks as White Noise 2 and Dracula 2: Ascension, My Bloody Valentine is not trying to be anything other than what you expect. It follows the slasher film checklist without attempting to break any new ground in any way whatsoever. Stupid victims who you want to see hacked up…Check. A badass mask-wearing killer with a sharp weapon…Check. Sex and female nudity…Check. Hints for sequel…Check. So what’s the attraction of this movie? It’s the freakin’ 3-D, because without that attraction, this movie is as unwatchable as the original film it’s based on. Dude, there’s a chick walking around butt naked from head to toe for several minutes…in 3-D. If that doesn’t sell the movie, what will? And at some point you know the killer will hurl his weapon directly at the camera to give you the illusion it’s coming at you. All 3-D movies prior have done this trick, so why would expect less here?

My Bloody Valentine is a film where you put your brain to sleep and then press play. Watching this film with a few of your peeps in your dark living room is the most effective way to be fully entertained (just as long as you have enough 3-D glasses). A film like this knows exactly what kind of audience it wants, and understands how to keep them entertained. Even someone who prides themselves on only watching foreign art house films will be able to have fun with this film, because if a pickaxe flying right towards you doesn’t get your blood flowing, then nothing will.

VIDEO

Here’s a treat for you; instead of one version of the movie, you’re getting two. There’s standard 2D version and a 3D version, and let’s face it, that’s the only one you’re actually going to watch all the way through. Both versions are presented in full 1080p with a 1.85:1 aspect ratio, but 2D version for obvious reasons looks better, displaying super sharp colors and a solid image quality. Grain is speckled in darker scenes, such as the mining cave, but overall the transfer looks good

The 3D version is not exactly what you would call high-definition quality because the resulting image is foggy and the colors have been all but muted to deliver the 3D effect. But you won’t care because this is all to deliver goodies like three-dimensional nudity and blood splattering off your screen. As for the 3D effect itself, it completely delivers the thrills thanks to the included cardboard red and blue glasses (four in the pack). It’s not on the level of Michael Jackson’s Captain Eo, but for your living room it’s extremely effective.

AUDIO

Offering a 7.1 DTS-HD Master Audio mix, My Bloody Valentine sounds great, allowing you to hear such nice effects as the miner’s pickaxe scrapping the stone walls as he chases his victims, and screams that will echo all around your room. Dialogue, though really bad, is crisp and the music works well with immersing you in slasher mode.

EXTRAS

There are not a lot of goodies on this Blu-ray, but you do get both a 2D and 3D version of the film, as well as four pairs of those cheap cardboard 3D glasses.

The film’s director, Patrick Lussier is joined by the screenwriter Todd Farmer to offer an audio commentary track. These two guys seem to get along, and the commentary sounds like they had a lot of fun making the film.

Deep Inside My Bloody Valentine is barely eight minutes long and if you blink you’ll miss it. This is just a promo clip for the film with random interviews that say nothing about the production.

A selection of alternate/deleted scenes really go nowhere and the alternated ending adds nothing new to the film.

Finally there’s the theatrical trailer in full HD. Yawn.

There’s a Digital Copy of the film, but obviously it’s only the 2D version, but it would have been interesting if the 3D version were also available as well. Just imagine being on a plane or train watching the film on your iPhone wearing those 3D glasses? That would have been a nice touch.

BOTTOM LINE

My Bloody Valentine is a fun slasher film, but the only way to enjoy it is via the 3D version. This Blu-ray offers both 2D and 3D versions of the film with four pairs of glasses included so this adds plenty of re-watching value when friends come over. If you’re a fan of the slasher genre, this Blu-ray is a must buy, and even those of you who never watch this type of flick should give it a look because 3D is always fun.

SCORES: (out of 5):

The Movie: 3.0

Video: 3.0

Sound: 4.0

Extras: 3.0

Bottom Line: 3.5